A Strange Bird

There’s blood in my teeth… 
There’s blood on my hands 
I devoured the sheep… 
And I lied to the lamb 

Oh lay me to sleep… 
in the wilderness 
Oh lord I don’t want to be 
The monster I am 

But there’s blood in my teeth.  

I am trees deep in the forest of my mind. 
I’m out of breath, I’m out of step, I’m out of luck, I’m out of time 

Out of answers and excuses and there’s no place left to hide 
Oh oh no 
Oh oh no 

Feeling coming like a storm 
Feel it building like a fire 
Sometimes I just can’t stop it 
Sometimes I’m too selfish (tired) to try 
Don’t you judge me 
I’ve been ferel all my life 
And I’ll pick my teeth with your bones if it means 

That I survive 

I don’t wanna be here 
But all I’ve ever known is this 
And if i give into my nature well 

You go and call me a bitch 

But you ain’t never seen 

A bitch as dangerous as me 

I will cut you with my words 
And break your spirits piece by piece 
Ain’t nobody gotta tell me 
Just how savage I can be 
I already know 
And it terrifies me 

Blood in my teeth 
Blood on my hands 
I devoured the sheep 
And I lied to the lamb 

Oh lay me to sleep  

In the wildernesss 

I don’t wannt be 

The monster I am 

But there’s blood in my teeth

I grew up south of the city. 

In a little town 
That hardly ever noticed whether or not we were around 
Took a lot of visits… 
to the city pound 
That ol’ dog catcher caught my mother more times than I could count 
We got out of that town 

Oh 

A little closer to the city, 
I could see the lights 
Blocking out the starlight burning stars into my eyes 
And in that city 
I broke my first heart 
I had to run away to escape the pain that I had caused 
That I had caused 

Oh 

Traded in that cityscape 
For a mountain view 
Where I met Billy and his banjo and he told me what to do 
Said ‘keep on playin 
Girl play your heart out 
You’ve got what it takes and I ain’t go no doubt 
But can’t be lovers 
‘Cuz were goin our own ways 
But we’re gonna find somebody someday 
So we went our own ways 

Oh 

From the mountains to the desert 
Met the rocks 
From the bottom to the top 
And I jumped off 

From the river to the land into the sky 
A leap of faith that learned me how to fly 

Back to that town 

Just south of the city 
With a mountain view 
I hardly ever noticed 
But now I always do 

It reminds me of you.. 

You… 

I’m dreaming of

They call him the snake 
and he sings in the shadows 
Keeping time behind him 
is the wolf in sheep’s clothes 
His voice is like honey 
Poured over midnight 
Calling through the darkness 
And promising a good time 

And all of the right words he’s got 
For all of the wrong moves you make 
Whether you want to or not 
You find yourself listenin’ 
To 

Songs ‘bout money, diamonds dripping from the ceiling 
Songs that promise there is love without commitment 
Songs that offer an escape from honest livin 
And songs the glorify all kinds of soul deep sickness 

I’m just a voice on the corner 
Nobody knows my name 
And ain’t a damn soul that’s listening 
There all turned round to hear the snake 

Because 

All of the right moves, he’s got 
Sleight of hand, mirrors and smoke 
Whether you meant to or not 
You find yourself singing along to 

Songs ‘bout money, diamonds dripping from the ceiling 
Songs that promise there is love without commitment 
Songs that offer an escape from honest livin 
And songs the glorify all kinds of soul deep sickness 

And you laugh, ‘cuz he laughs at those who dance and do not listen 
But you’re too busy dancing to give a damn ‘bout your misgivin’s  

And you’re hooked 

You don’t have to stop 
when the sun comes up 
you can follow him down the road 
He’ll lead you laughing and singing and dancing 
Distracted while the wolf makes off with your soul 
Then that snake, (oh the bastard)’s gonna sing you to sleep 
With his sweet sick lullabies of lies on repeat 
Then he’ll leave you to your nightmares 
Heartbroken and alone 

It’ll be a long time before you find your way back home 

And they’ll sing 
Ha ha 
Who’s laughing now? 
HA HA 

Who’s laughing now? 
Ha ha 

Who’s laughing?

It’s an uphill battle 
or a downward spiral 
I don’t need no education 
know exactly what I’m saying 

That old wolf in sheep’s clothing 
Pulled the wool over our eyes 
The lies come cheap each morning 
Now the truth is overpriced 

Got the newsroom speakin in tongues 
Twistin up our tendencies to change what we’ve become 

Got the newsroom speakin in tongues 
Twistin’ up transmissions trying to control the outcome 

Because freedom ain’t forever 
Never has been never will be 
Someone’s always taking over 
Don’t believe me? Check your history 

I said freedom ain’t forever no 
Freedom ain’t forever, never no. 

Maybe you don’t know this 
Cuz your too absorbed (depressed) to notice but 
Our culture is diseased 
We are dying in the streets 

(Maybe) And I was made for a revolution 

Every day’s a struggle, or every day’s a waste 
Every one of us is broken just enough to need escape 
So we keep comin. Comin and drummin’ up the courage 
Gonna get up on this stage say our battle wounds were worth it 

We were warriors. 
And we were meant to be victorious 
The story is 
That we’re not in it for the glory it’s 

It’s in our blood 

It’s on our blood 
We try to walk away but we keep coming back 
Such a beautiful addiciton keeps us kickin down the path 
We crawl up and over under every obstacle ahead 
Chasing all that we were promised 
All just hopin’ that we get it ‘cuz 

They promised us freedom 
They told us we’d be treated the same and they lied 
They taught us to need ‘em 
Convinced us we couldn’t beat ‘em even if we tried 
Well I 
Think it’s time we tried 

And I 
Think it’s time we tried

I lit a fire with a dead man’s matches 

And I drank his wine and toasted his good fortune 
I inhale that cigarette smoke 
Well I’m a liar, ‘cuz this ain’t tobacco 

And all these words turn to dust in my mouth 
And they stay there like and aftertaste 
I cannot spit out 
I’m not sure… What it is about me 
It’s so hard to tell the truth 
Do you think I get that from you? 

‘Cuz I do 
Because I do. 

Apples… and trees… 
Dysfunction sprouts out of me just like leaves 
And if you hold onto me 
Then we’ll grow together 
We’ll grow 
We’ll grow 

Apples… and trees… 

Who else to blame but the root for bad seeds  

Now let go… of me 
Or we’ll grow together 
We’ll grow 
We’ll grow  

I’ve been runnin since the 
Day that I was born and 
I cannot remember 
What it’s from or towards 

 but 

I can feel it in the comedown 
There is somewhere I should be by now 

~Musical break 2 cycles~ 

Some people wonder if they’ll make it to the top 

Mostly I wonder who I am to try and leave the bottom 

Nobody told me I could make it this far 
And I’m not bitter mama, I’m just being (I’m just bein') Honest 

Hey, mama I’m just being honest 

Because 

I’ve been running since the day that I was born and 
I cannot remember what its from or towards but 
I can feel it in the comedown 
There is somewhere I should be by now 

Apples… and Trees… 

Apples…  and Trees…

Behold! The Prodigal Daughter. Dwelling alone in her own dishonor 

Wanted to be left alone to wander but every step gets harder and harder 
Never asked to be a martyr. Abandoned the house of her father 
Just wanted to see what this world had to offer 
But all it could offer was heartache, it tossed her 

Into a prison cell, she’s left alone to ponder 
How she ever came to be 
Slave to this monster 
And with each passing day, he’s get stronger 
He will not release his hold on her 

What  a hell, what a prison! Freedom from is a heavenly privlege 

And Christ was the key that freed me 

Unlocked and adopted, don’t get it twisted 
There’s no other way 

And no I am not criticizing the system 
12 steps just isn’t enough space 
To put between me and my conditions 

‘Cause they follow like shadows 
I twist I turn I run but I cannot escape 
I long to step out from the darkness 
And let the light burn  

my demons away 

This poison is killing me slow.  

The spirit’s run dry but I still feel alone. 

Thought this would cure all my pain now I know 

This method of self-medication must go! 

Never asked for this affliction 

God you warned me but I didn’t listen 

Just wanted to see what it was I was missin 

Hobby turned to habit; Habit to addiction! 

You found me in darkness. 
Picked me up and put me back on my feet 
You broke the chains that held me captive. 
And in your eyes I see that I am finally free 

Yup I faced my demons. 
You were all that I needed to beat ‘em 
I love you love me now my life has reason 
A plan and a purpose that can’t be defeated 

‘Cause sometimes it hurts so much 
Even my bones ache 
I feel like giving up  

but I find new strength 

And each passing day, 
I’m getting stronger 
No longer the slave 
No longer the monster 

Smoke the evidence 
before they all catch on 
It’s irrelevant what they say when you are gone 

Well you just keep on 
telling yourself that, darlin’ 
Maybe one day you will come to believe it 

You tell me you’re a monster 
Maybe there’s a beast under your skin 
And I’d be better off not letting someone like you in 

Well you just keep on, telling yourself that darlin 
Your words form your world you better believe it 

Oh, oh no 

Whatever helps you sleep at night 
We all do what we need to get by 
Tell ourselves the world is cold and dark when it’s full of sunshine 

And if it helps you ease the pain 
You’ve been living with for ages 
Go ahead to cover 
Or dance in the rain 

I know this is hurting 
Each of us in our own separate ways 
But both of us are growing, honey 
And everything’s about to change 

Well I just keep on telling myself that darlin 
Maybe one day you will see that I mean it 

(I said) Whoever helps you sleep at night 
I’ll do what I need to get by 
But I can’t tell myself the world is dark (cold)  I 

Need the sunshine 
Hope is what eases the pain 
I’ve been living with for ages 
Go ahead take cover 
I’ll dance in the rain

Tell me are you really okay? 
I haven’t seen you smile in days 
You’re so quiet all the time like nothing matters 

Tell me, is it all in my head? 
Have you done something you regret 
Or am I making monsters out of shadows 

 After all this time, I am still afraid 
Even though you lie, I love you all the same 

Wish that you would just open up 
You know I’ve never been one to judge 
I know you’re hurting, I hope you know I’m here for you 

So tell me what’s putting you through hell 
You don’t have to go by yourself 
You know 
I’d do anything for you 

You can take your time, forever I will wait 
Not a night goes by that I don’t lie awake 

And think of you 
I’m thinking of you 

So tell me what’s got you so ashamed 
Don’t you know we all make mistakes 
But you ain’t gotta go out that way 
You ain’t gotta go out that way 

I’m telling you that these scars will fade 
And one day it’ll all be okay 
But you ain’t go out that way 
You ain’t gotta go out 

Don’t believe the lies, I’m still right here 
I am on your side, I’ll never leave you my dear 

I’ll wait for you 
I’m still waiting for you 

So tell me are you really okay?

Can you see the difference in me 
Feels like my light’s been fading consistently 
For a day, for a week for a while at least 

Something’s off, 
something’s wrong, 
something’s gone, 
something’s missing in me 

Can you feel the distance in my soul 
It’s been a long long time since I’ve been home 

And I don’t mean the place where I was born, no 

Well I’m not sure why I’m hurting 
But I know it’s been hell lately 
Well I’ve narrowed it down to a series of nouns 
Can’t figure out if it’s a person, this place or something 

One of the three… must be killing me 

They say you never know what your giving up ‘til it’s gone 
They say you forfeit it all when you fail to fight for what you want 
So choose your battles wisely, choose your words with care 
Fell the bad(ness) shit lightly and let down your hair 

And howl at the moon, ‘til the clouds are gone 
And dance like your hearts never been stepped on 

Well I hear voices in my dreams 
Telling me to be free 
I ain’t found freedom yet 
It’s getting harder and harder the older that I get